Admin from hell - old style

The Lord Marshall's high quarter was that of lean, sleek, efficient splendor and even though I was kept waiting for more than half an hour the palms of my hands remained strangely dry and warm although the rumors were many and the window was open in the small room where I was told to await his Lordship. His assistant was that of friendliness and efficiency combined. It was not the feeling of excitement nor fear that had grabbed my heart, no - it was the feeling of the fearless. In this very small "la chambre secret" I was not yet aware that Captain Flash-Heart had made contact and once again offered his services. This time he had been rejected on the grounds that "we can not afford him in these times of cut-backs". So little did I know that I, his Padwan Learner, was going to be accepted on the very same grounds. Had I known that Captain Flash-Heart had the aspirations for the same position I would naturally have backed down - but know this, I did not.

The Petty Governor of Minor Matters had conveniently "dissappeared" and made himself in disposable during the great gathering of all knights of the round table. He had suffered a major blow to his already bruised ego in the new rank order of the troops but with his latest temper tantrum there was more to be lost than just face. He had, in fact, lost almost 80% of his troops to other officers and was now left with only the Bloated Beggar from Roads Ends and Sir Point (of No Return). The Bloated Beggar had followed the Petty Governor from early days and was loyal beyond compassion however Sir Point was new in the ranks but would always stand his ground firm, something that annoyed the Petty Governor immensly.

In all this loss of troops and face the Petty Governor was, surprisingly enough, endorsing me to the Lord Marshall - if this was because he knew that I would utterly fail or if he actually believed that I would do good is something I will probably never know, nor do I intend to find out.

As I was sitting in the small room with glass walls facing an open area where officials would hurry past and giving me a quick but inquisitive glance, I felt like a strange object in a "Cabinet de curiosités" but was at the same time quite comfortable with that. An old Admin from Hell is not that easily intimidated especially when he has been summoned for deeds well done to face the Lord Marshall.

Earlier that day I had been called to the den of the Viceroy and received the most precious instructions regarding what the Lord Marshall likes and dislikes. I was handed vital information for my survival and success but the bottom line was that I should remain true to myself - needless to say, I will.

I was interrupted in my thoughts by the Lord Marshall entering the room with long strides and a firm handshake to seat himself with back to the inquisitive knights, me on his right and the outside in front of him. This was a good position that gave me chance for bonding and trust which I took. The conversation was between gentlemen and knights and will not be recited here or anywhere else but the outcome was good and after an hour I was back outside the building with carrying both trust and challenge in my mind.

This was a good beginning
Yours
A.F.H.

"Well you know, this is the position your friend was hoping for, but he did not get it,  and he doesn't know... and  I never told you this"

Thanks pal - now I got bad conscious as well, crap!!! As if it was not a tough thing being called from grace, faced with the possibility to become a count, and then not hearing a thing about it, now I also have to beat my friend to the finish line and what is worse, he is on the same team.  This is not good news. Naturally I want to get the title but I hate doing it over my good friend so now I have to contact him - face to face and tell him that we are 2 knights fighting over the same princess and she has already made up her mind so he better congratulate me and prepare to follow my lead.

But this is not all because the famous Captain Flash-Heart has made his triumphant re-appearance amongst the troops. He was clever not to go to the Lord Marshall or even the Viceroy - oh no, not him. He is clever like a fox and smooth like a tank - nobody disrespect him, everyone will remember him,  some may not like him but ALL will follow him. He is the natural borne leader. He is definitely in line for the princess, for becoming count, for being the Golden Knight. Question is if he wants to, if the Lord Marchall can tolerate such a bright star so close to his chest. Yes, the questions around Captain Flash-Heart are many and one thing is for sure - I will NOT fight with Flash-Heart because besides being my very close friend, he is the Jedi Knight and my mentor and I am his Padwan Learner. To fight him would be to loose myself.

A mighty tale of woe and wonder and in the midst stands a dusty old fella with raggedy armor and a beat up shield waiting for the next battle to come.

Who would be interrested in an old Admin bastard from Hell? Who would even care?

Oh, I tell you - the new Lord Marshall cares. In fact he cares so much he even wants to interview me himself !  He will bypass his Viceroy and step down from his golden carriage to meet with little me, the mysterious rouge knight who aparently has been presented from a much more favourable point of view.  Who ever marketed me in front of his Lordship? The Viceroy ?  The Petty Governor of Minor Matters? The Rear Admiral of the Black Army?  The Bloated Beggar from Roads Ends? The Mumbling Mollusk from Upper Cut? Who ?

There is the chance that I am only a puppet in a show all set to stage another champion - they just want to make his victory look more real and at the same time stomp me even further in to the ground, back to my dungeons where darkness is a form of light. Well, if that's the game I am ready because I have been there before but this time I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I may look like a dirty ol' farmer from hillbilly hell but I know my ways around the ballroom and fancy talk like a snake in a chicken farm.

Leading matters in to worse I will meet many of my fellow knights and brave men next week. We will discuss matters close to our heart and make sure we stand united with trust and friendship as bonds that will make us strong in the face of danger. The new Lord Marshall will rearrange in the ranks, replace the mud and itch with those who obey and brave the enemy at the gates. But he is not sure who he can trust - so he will meet us one by one to see in our eyes who will be chosen and who will not.

If I make the ranks this time there will be hell to pay, for me, and I better strap down properly because it is going to be a bumpy ride!

Ave Caesar! Morituri te salutant!
A.F.H.

Nothing like a call from grace where the lord of lords sends a messenger boy to let you know that your presence is requested in a matter of great urgency and that you, without any further delay or fuss, should make haste and appear promptly. Ahhh... the klanking of armour, the coarse voices of great knights, the tatter of the ladies, the soft swishing sound of expensive fabric gently moving across the marble floor in the great hall. This is the centre of the kingdom, here is where great men have been recognized and evil makers destroyed, this is the centre of culture, finess and money.

Soon I will be there, trying to act natural in my shiny armour though it was such a long time since I had it on. The akward feeling of metal around your chest, the sword hanging idle at my side, the helmet carried with my left arm, the gloves stuck under my belt and my feelings well hidden. Just looking around the great hall there will be faces to greet and faces to meet. Yes, I have already had questions on why I am going there... and at this point in time.

There is a great reorganization in the kingdom and all that was new shall be changed. To me this is good news because being an old Admin from Hell I have never liked changes... well some are OK but most of them are just a nuicanse.

The messenger told me that I would receive the title of Count - in my mind I was thinking "Count Duku" but decided to play the low key. News of my fate would follow the next day. It was hard to sleep that night and my thoughts wondered as i lay there in my bed. The next day was spend waiting for the magic news - did they arrive... nope. And the next day, and the next, and the next....  Welcome to another day in the life of and Admin from Hell... why should this possibly work.

Hopefully this tale will continue - I will be back with the story as it develops.
Yours
A.F.H.

"Warp five, Mr. Scotty". Working at the Enterprise is no child's play that's for sure! Me and my team mates just found ourselves on the lower deck all covered in muck and dirt when we got word from the bridge that we had done a bad job. Servers were crashing, networks were wrong, groups not according to standard and so on. I stood up and took the blame while trying to understand where all this new information came from. Over the next few days we were litterally bombarded with errors and discoveries of various colours and creeds. What the h.... was going on ?

Turns out that the staff at bridge got them selves a new fancy tool with wich they could monitor everything and find out all kind of neat things. "Brilliant lads - is there a chanse that me and my team may get the same weapons?" , I wondered as I was sitting in my bunk.  The answer came early next morning: "Nope - due to financial constraints we have decided to only equip every 10:th soldier with a rifle..." 

*sigh*, so it was back in the mud-whole waiting for more granades to fall in, another sunny day at the office had begun.

Then word came from one of the Lords of the bridge:- "Your team is actually the only one that has been performing exceptionally throughout the year.  I have recommended you to be knighted !!"  I was completely dumb-struck.  A few hours ago we were on the same level as the maggots crawling in the left overs from the canteen, and now all of a sudden the sun was shining in our eyes?  OK so we had turned the ship around, cleared the deck, fixed the leakage, mended the sails, prepared the guns, rallied the men and kept the kettle boiling... but that is something anyone with a bit of determination could do - what's so special about that. At this time - apparently it made a great impact and why should we not enjoy the spoils of victory? We all looked at each other and the guys nodded: "OK boss, you go, and good lock up there"

"You have been invited to the bridge"  The words came like from above and I realized that within just a few days my future will, once again, change but some how I hate to leave the guys because now I know that they will get a new sergeant and God only knows how that will turn out but as one of the lads put it: "your fate is no longer with us"

Gods speed to all of you !

Yours for the rescue
//Captain Jake

Took my motorbike to work, springtime is here and everything is just wonderful. This weekend I had actually spend all the time with my family and we had lot's of fun and games. So fully charged up I headed off to the office and prepared myself for the next surprise and sure enough, before lunchtime I was standing in a control room with my jaws wide open, gawking at a large screen monitor.

I work in a small unit with just a few employees. This is great because we have a 2MB MPLS link in the same cloud as the hub centre so things should be hunky dory however, to my surprise, the network performance have not been that impressive and from time to time it is actually quite slow. In fact I can out-power the office network performance with my rinky-dinky home DSL connection that usually delivers speeds up to yawn-point-five-geeka-flips per second (which is equivalent to slightly below slow standard).

Engaged in a conversation how the new Notes client performs I was in the control room and received a demonstration of the video survaillance system. A set of cameras monitor the production facility from various angles and it all feeds to this great big monitor that's slapped on the wall. Very cool even though the control room already makes the scenes from the Matrix look simple.

Anyhow I was told that "modern technology" was used for the video surveillance and in fact they were all streaming the images over the network so that people from other locations could log on an check out the scenery...

On my question of the network team had been involved in the setting up of the cameras the answer was naturally "no" but there was nothing to worry about because this was all part of the project that once upon a time did this...

So why is the network slow... because HTTP and Notes have the same priority in the MPLS world and the stupid cameras are blasting away silly images to countless monitors that nobody bothers to look at anyway because all the REAL data is in the production system (surprise!!!).

Naturally it is not only this production facility that has been equipped with cameras...   and many users complain that Notes is "slow"...

I already wish it was Friday...     *sigh*

//Jake