Admin from hell - old style

It was dark and dusky when the horses finally came to a halt in front of the Castle of Furstenhof. Vassals jumping to attention, maids whirling about, stableboys, commoners, dogs and slaves all took a breath of awe when the brave knight from Hell placed his fot on the royal lands of Furstenhof. He was early, in fact he was an entire day early and not everything was ready yet. I smiled inside my shining armour - this is the best way to learn about reality when you catch them off guard.

The normal checking and credit card routine sorted I found myself in my very own "chambre secret" where I could leave my valuables before entering the town of Furstenhof as a common man and watch the street life pass buy. Finding myself a simple but sufficient Indian Pizza restaurant near the red light district I enjoyed a beer and the game where Germany was bitterly defeated by Kroatia and much later on my way back to the castle I encountered supporters of the winning team singing and dansing in the streets.

Blessed are the fearless for they shall go forth and so it was. The next day the new Lord Marshall had arrived with his whole entourage and the usual congregation of lords and knights surrounding him each one eager for his attention. Biding my time I saluted others as they came to me. This was not polite but very purpouseful since at the end of the gathering all others had shaken my hand and paied their respect.

The Lord Marshall set the pace of the gathering and all breave knights had to work hard, speak brave and be both witty and clever. This was truely a challenge and while all of them made it I had the fortune to excel. Naturally this was not to the delight of all the other knights and some even gave me the evil eye but they know to fear the fearless.

In the evening there was a proper banquet that ended in heavy drinking and while the beer slipped down my throat I kept my head clear and observed while interacting with the other knights. What a splendid evening it was.

Caviar from Nassau, spargelfish from Sachenhausen and wine from Krankenhaus. The food was cheesy and the deserts were creamy. The staff were invisible and the arrangement as such was divine. The Lord Master had really managed to set the stage for a most spectacular event.

At the close of the event after much had been spoken and even more had been drunk I left the stage and returned to my quarters knowing that I now have to move to the realm of Bayersholm. This is where the new and splendid kingdom will have its centre and I am one of the brave knights who have been selected to restore its former glory.

It fill my heart with pride and a sensation of really being empowered. I now have the blessing and personal support from the lord Marshall and also the Vice Roy has time and again expressed his absolute confidence in me.

Now we are on the roll !!!

Yes, my new job in Bayersholm will pay handsomely and perhaps I might even be able to affoard a new stallion !

Yours truely
// A F H

Creating a new organisation can be a sanctuary for incompetent managers and failure can be hidden behind frequent changes and blamed on things "outside my control". What a blessing for those who really should be sent packing. In the hour of destiny when the new organisation is created and external consultants with little or no knowlege about the actual individuals there is a huge window of opportunity for those who never got their engine started to gently slide in to a new safe heaven in the shape of a box in an organisational chart. Here they can rid them selves of all the projects and issues that haunt them by simply uttering the phraze "I am sorry, but that is no longer my area of responsability. You have to talk to someone else." Case closed.

 

We who walk the floor of terror, we who balance on the edge of the knife, we who dare the dragon - we are left with the short end of the stick and have to start all over with the next unfortunate twat confidently walking down the coridor. A new manager filled with hopes and dreams of personal benefits and achievements. As I innocently strike up a discussion with this new manager you hear the words fall from his lips; "Oh yes, the staff... or "the team" as I prefer to call them... I guess they need to have some sort of feeling of success too... usually I find that small gifts are well appreciated.... I have some T-shirts with the old company logo that could do well"

 

It is with a feeling of panic and anxiety I study the organisation chart and try to analyze what may work and what will definitely turn out to be "black holes" in the organisation. Where would the Petty Governor of Minor Matters end up, would he retain his magic powers or had he lost enough points ?  What about the Vice Roy? Well, he seemed safe. And then there is the Bloated Beggar from Roads Ends and what about Sir Point (of No Return) ?  We also had the The Mumbling Mollusk from Upper Cut would he actually get more powers now?  And what about all the new names, those who we have not seen before, those who come from assimilated companies... where will they end up? They don't even know our company culture !!!

 

"Mon Dieux" my brain was spinning like a little toy engine with too many batteries connected to it, I had to slow down and what could be better than to do a bit of good ol' fashioned Admin from Hell stuff. Reading some logfiles, nagging some local admins about some error they had no idea existed, sending a scary mail to a big boss about how soon the main server will run out of disk space and hassling some business managers about the latest technology on mobile phones that they can not get... Ahhh.... all of a sudden life feels much more controllable and destiny is once again back in my hands.

 

 Yours truely

// AFH