Admin from hell - old style

Creating a new organisation can be a sanctuary for incompetent managers and failure can be hidden behind frequent changes and blamed on things "outside my control". What a blessing for those who really should be sent packing. In the hour of destiny when the new organisation is created and external consultants with little or no knowlege about the actual individuals there is a huge window of opportunity for those who never got their engine started to gently slide in to a new safe heaven in the shape of a box in an organisational chart. Here they can rid them selves of all the projects and issues that haunt them by simply uttering the phraze "I am sorry, but that is no longer my area of responsability. You have to talk to someone else." Case closed.

 

We who walk the floor of terror, we who balance on the edge of the knife, we who dare the dragon - we are left with the short end of the stick and have to start all over with the next unfortunate twat confidently walking down the coridor. A new manager filled with hopes and dreams of personal benefits and achievements. As I innocently strike up a discussion with this new manager you hear the words fall from his lips; "Oh yes, the staff... or "the team" as I prefer to call them... I guess they need to have some sort of feeling of success too... usually I find that small gifts are well appreciated.... I have some T-shirts with the old company logo that could do well"

 

It is with a feeling of panic and anxiety I study the organisation chart and try to analyze what may work and what will definitely turn out to be "black holes" in the organisation. Where would the Petty Governor of Minor Matters end up, would he retain his magic powers or had he lost enough points ?  What about the Vice Roy? Well, he seemed safe. And then there is the Bloated Beggar from Roads Ends and what about Sir Point (of No Return) ?  We also had the The Mumbling Mollusk from Upper Cut would he actually get more powers now?  And what about all the new names, those who we have not seen before, those who come from assimilated companies... where will they end up? They don't even know our company culture !!!

 

"Mon Dieux" my brain was spinning like a little toy engine with too many batteries connected to it, I had to slow down and what could be better than to do a bit of good ol' fashioned Admin from Hell stuff. Reading some logfiles, nagging some local admins about some error they had no idea existed, sending a scary mail to a big boss about how soon the main server will run out of disk space and hassling some business managers about the latest technology on mobile phones that they can not get... Ahhh.... all of a sudden life feels much more controllable and destiny is once again back in my hands.

 

 Yours truely

// AFH

Nothing like a call from grace where the lord of lords sends a messenger boy to let you know that your presence is requested in a matter of great urgency and that you, without any further delay or fuss, should make haste and appear promptly. Ahhh... the klanking of armour, the coarse voices of great knights, the tatter of the ladies, the soft swishing sound of expensive fabric gently moving across the marble floor in the great hall. This is the centre of the kingdom, here is where great men have been recognized and evil makers destroyed, this is the centre of culture, finess and money.

Soon I will be there, trying to act natural in my shiny armour though it was such a long time since I had it on. The akward feeling of metal around your chest, the sword hanging idle at my side, the helmet carried with my left arm, the gloves stuck under my belt and my feelings well hidden. Just looking around the great hall there will be faces to greet and faces to meet. Yes, I have already had questions on why I am going there... and at this point in time.

There is a great reorganization in the kingdom and all that was new shall be changed. To me this is good news because being an old Admin from Hell I have never liked changes... well some are OK but most of them are just a nuicanse.

The messenger told me that I would receive the title of Count - in my mind I was thinking "Count Duku" but decided to play the low key. News of my fate would follow the next day. It was hard to sleep that night and my thoughts wondered as i lay there in my bed. The next day was spend waiting for the magic news - did they arrive... nope. And the next day, and the next, and the next....  Welcome to another day in the life of and Admin from Hell... why should this possibly work.

Hopefully this tale will continue - I will be back with the story as it develops.
Yours
A.F.H.

"Warp five, Mr. Scotty". Working at the Enterprise is no child's play that's for sure! Me and my team mates just found ourselves on the lower deck all covered in muck and dirt when we got word from the bridge that we had done a bad job. Servers were crashing, networks were wrong, groups not according to standard and so on. I stood up and took the blame while trying to understand where all this new information came from. Over the next few days we were litterally bombarded with errors and discoveries of various colours and creeds. What the h.... was going on ?

Turns out that the staff at bridge got them selves a new fancy tool with wich they could monitor everything and find out all kind of neat things. "Brilliant lads - is there a chanse that me and my team may get the same weapons?" , I wondered as I was sitting in my bunk.  The answer came early next morning: "Nope - due to financial constraints we have decided to only equip every 10:th soldier with a rifle..." 

*sigh*, so it was back in the mud-whole waiting for more granades to fall in, another sunny day at the office had begun.

Then word came from one of the Lords of the bridge:- "Your team is actually the only one that has been performing exceptionally throughout the year.  I have recommended you to be knighted !!"  I was completely dumb-struck.  A few hours ago we were on the same level as the maggots crawling in the left overs from the canteen, and now all of a sudden the sun was shining in our eyes?  OK so we had turned the ship around, cleared the deck, fixed the leakage, mended the sails, prepared the guns, rallied the men and kept the kettle boiling... but that is something anyone with a bit of determination could do - what's so special about that. At this time - apparently it made a great impact and why should we not enjoy the spoils of victory? We all looked at each other and the guys nodded: "OK boss, you go, and good lock up there"

"You have been invited to the bridge"  The words came like from above and I realized that within just a few days my future will, once again, change but some how I hate to leave the guys because now I know that they will get a new sergeant and God only knows how that will turn out but as one of the lads put it: "your fate is no longer with us"

Gods speed to all of you !

Yours for the rescue
//Captain Jake