Portaldomosphere

 Well, as you can probably imagine I am either up late or awake early. If you can believe it, it is the latter. So I have had my cat nap and now it is time to pound back on this code that I am trying to frantically finish. Don't get me wrong, I love developing and administering (that word is a topic for another post) - but I start to get this sense of blurriness between reality and whatever this is. I see it no different than I would imagine an accountant sees his ledger or "The Fake Steve Jobs" sees a bottle of Midol and a cosmo. (I imagine the real Steve Jobs would not order froo froo drinks but.. ehhh) - see, things get blurry

Ok so I need to jump away from the paragraph - and I will not sit here and talk about any of this code until a time where I have not been bangin this stuff out. So, to break montony of my typical confsuing dreck - I give you some rap - from the HP.

 Although I must admit that Alton had a point in his closing session keynote, I truly wonder if we are really that socially retarded. Is it that we are different than most of the population, or are most of us truly recluse?

From my own personal experience, I can open up like a damn flower around other techie people but when it comes to being around people, say at a bar or some other social gathering - I CHOKE. What do I talk about? Am I going to say something stupid? Am I going to be ignored when talking? But when I am at Lotusphere, or on a design call, I open up and become more comfortable with myself.  I used to feel bad about being this way - feeling like I need to change this part of me - but recently I feel much better about being this way. Sure, I may not be getting to know a lot of people, but I think that is ok.

So what I am trying to say is, we are not necessarily socially retarded but maybe just work better within our "people". And no, we are not always talking about techie stuff. But the fact that we have similar background and current experiences makes us all more compatible to be around each other. And is this so different than the rest of society?

We interface with like-minded people. And our lives expand beyond computers so those other parts of our lives are other "interface points". Much like a web service with multiple functions, each function adds a sense of commonality with another application of service. The more functions in common, the more alike the apps are. We, as humans, are no different. Each interest we have gives us another link of commonality to another person.

Don't get me wrong, I am not slamming on Alton in any way shape or form. Please note that many times, my posts are very much internal discussions that I have had and writing them down makes it easier for me to understand and disseminate them. So to all my fellow geeks - "Howdy - let's talk!"

I cannot believe I am writing this post but I guess I am just picky.

Ok so - the software is sexy. But is sexy? Is sexy visually hot? Is it something really new? What exactly are we talking about here? Something can be new and visually hot and that is what I see as "sexy". I cannot see say embedding something on the Domino server as sexy because it is not a visual element.

Now - I know transferring this to the other version of sexy - referring to a sexy (insert sexual preference of mate here), this does not always have to do with the beauty on the outside. Sometimes, they can be somewhat mediocre visually but there is something about them that just make you crazy - thus makes you feel they are sexy. If this is what you are talking about as backend sexy then I understand that too.

So what do we call something that is implemented absolutely superbly but not necessarily new? Is it "sexy" or is it "hot" or maybe it just a "little hottie element". Not sure - of course part of this is tongue-in-cheek - but another part of this is truly trying to figure out the mnemonic to this new sexual side of software and code. Or is it defined? Or is this just cool slang? My problem is a usually insert the wrong thing when using new terms. I know this stems from noticing people using incorrect words and how much I feel embarrassed for them. I am sure I have even picked some some incorrect words for this post. It is nice when speaking to non-IT people that I use something that is universal across the industry.

 In response to Dan Lyons on his nom de plume blog FakeSteveJobs post "Oxymoron of the week" (WARNING: This blog post  has quite a bit of profanity in it - thus my response). I am unsure if my comment will be posted, but vile garbage like this should be pointed out as the wrong way to blog... even if you disagree with something. In my opinion, if you would not get in front of a crowd of people and say the same words, you should re-write it,

--------------- My Response -------------------

Well, I have never visited this blog before so I guess you can thank Ed Brill for a momentary reader - and I do mean momentary.

So - looks like you have a mouth only a septic-tank technician could love. That's nice and all but this makes you irrelevant. Your thoughts are about as relevant as Lisa Lamponelli slamming on a celebrity during a celebrity roast. Using profanity may be funny, but utterly pointless.

So, to get to the point of my comment. The fact that you have this nom de plume does not detach you from Forbes in my opinion. Luckily, I no longer subscribe to Forbes and will remember not to subscribe as long as you are attached to them.

As a qualification of my comments, I am a Lotus Software supporter. I was driven to this vile attempt at forming English words by Ed Brill's blog. Simply put, if I had run across this garbage against any other software, my post would read somewhat similar.

True, you do have a right to your own opinion. We live in the United States so that is your right and I do not take that away from you. My objection to the existance of this, dare I say "blog", is you offer nothing but a place to flame and spew profanities. You offer the toilet of the IT world for all to vomit and deficate in.

As for your blatent attack on Mr Brill, you are subject to your opinion of others, but personal attacks are so childish. When you decide that your blog needs to be cleaned up and you wish to post an entry that would create a true discussion, let me know. I have no problem having an intelligent discussion - just leave your filth to yourself and state some type of facts and opinions that would be worth my time to read.

 The one thing that I am seeing all over the place is this let down revolving around Lotusphere being over. Sure, we are not around 9000 fellow yellow-bleeding geeks, but who is to say Lotusphere is truly over. As an event - yes - we are not at the Swan and Dolphin and killing our normally dormant bodies - but is the idea of Lotusphere truly over.

So - what am I getting at? It is this -

The messages you heard, felt, blogged about, wrote notes on... etc etc... this is now YOUR time to turn in to the speaker. You have many people in your organization that did not here or see what you did as 'Sphere attendees. Pass the message along of what IBM/Lotus has given us. Get people excited about what speakers gave you.

We are Lotus Professionals. Argueably some of the most staunch supporters of our own products and craft. You have a drum - beat it. You have the message - shout it out. The energy you got from Lotusphere - drive it home. (And if you have Microsoft Professionals - make sure you rub it in their faces how cool your stuff is)

And last - but DEFINATELY not least - remember this site. Bleedyellow is not going ANYWHERE. It is here. It is NOT like Lotusphere Online that disappears after awhile. Keep blogging, keep checking, keep talking, keep up the message!

Thanks everyone for a great Lotusphere 2008!

هذا هو الدخول بالعربيه. 

 Ok this is completely non-technical but as Karl-Henry come up to our booth as was talking to us. He says, "I have a friend that was asking me if Scott was single." She was apparently asking because she saw Scott's picture on his Lotus Connections Profile.

I replied, "Nope - sorry - you'll have to tell your friend he is a taken man." (Your welcome Mrs.Hooks )

It's just amazing what this software can do for you. It can even now get you blind dates if you are available.

 There were SO many new announcements today.

First off - OGS -

The big deal announcements have to be :

Lotus Foundations - this is a server, about the size of a 300 baud modem from back in the day. This server will be outfitted with collaboration and directory services software ready to configure and go with. Lotus has finally realized the importance of the SMB marker and is delivering on it.

Lotus Mashups - I heard about this a few days ago but had no idea that they had made it very easy to use. I would personally like to get my hands on it and maybe I still can - who knows.

I have enjoyed speaking with many of you who have come to our booth and spokenj to us about your needs. I look forward to the next two days finding out what else to expect.

- D

 I have posted an activity for to query all of you as to whom you think the guest speaker will be. Go ahead and create a message and lets see if anyone gets it.

Monday 8:05am User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let the people vote and drive, too?

8:12am Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports database. Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, "Well, it works for me." Let them rant and rave while I unplugged my coffeemaker from the UPS and plugged their server back in. Suggested they try it again. One more happy customer...

8:14 am User from 8:05 call said they received error message "Error accessing Drive 0." Told them it was an OS problem. Transferred them to microsupport.

11:00 am Relatively quiet for last few hours. Decide to plug support phone back in so I can call my girlfriend. Says parents are coming into town this weekend. Put her on hold and transferred her to janitorial closet down in basement. What is she thinking? The "Myst" and "Doom" nationals are this weekend!

11:34 am Another user calls (do they ever learn?). Says they want ACL changed on HR performance review database so that nobody but HR can access database. Tell them no problem. Hang up. Change ACL. Add @MailSend so performance reviews are sent to */US.

12:00 pm Lunch

3:30 pm Return from lunch.

3:55 pm Wake up from nap. Bad dream makes me cranky. Bounce servers for no reason. Return to napping.

4:23 pm Yet another user calls. Wants to know how to change fonts on form. Ask them what chip set they're using. Tell them to call back when they find out.

4:55 pm Decide to run "Create Save/Replication Conflicts" macro so next shift has something to do.

Tuesday 8:30 am Finish reading support log from last night. Sounded busy. Terrible time with Save/Replication conflicts.

9:00 am Support manager arrives. Wants to discuss my attitude. Click on PhoneNotes SmartIcon. "Love to, but kinda busy. Put something in the calendar database!" I yell as I grab for the support lines, which have (mysteriously) lit up. Walks away grumbling.

9:35 am Team leader from R&D needs ID for new employee. Tell them they need form J-19R=9C9\\DARR\K1. Say they never heard of such a form. Tell them it's in the SPECIAL FORMS database. Say they never heard of such a database. Transfer them to janitorial closet in basement.

10:00 am Perky sounding intern from R&D calls and says she needs new ID. Tell her I need employee number, department name, manager name, and marital status. Run @DbLookup against state parole board database, Centers for Disease Control database, and my Oprah Winfrey database. No hits. Tell her ID will be ready tonight. Drawing from the lessons learned in last week's "Reengineering for Customer Partnership," I offer to personally deliver ID to her apartment.

10:07 am Janitor stops by to say he keeps getting strange calls in basement. Offer to train him on Notes. Begin now. Let him watch console while I grab a smoke.

1:00 pm Return from smoking break. Janitor says phones kept ringing, so he transferred them to cafeteria lady. I like this guy.

1:05 pm Big commotion! Support manager falls in hole left where I pulled floor tiles outside his office door. Stress to him importance of not running in computer room, even if I do yell "Omigod -- Fire!"

1:15 pm Development Standards Committee calls and complains about umlauts in form names. Apologizing for the inconvenience, I tell them I will fix it. Hang up and run global search/replace using gaks.

1:20 pm Mary Hairnet from cafeteria calls. Says she keeps getting calls for "Notice Loads" or "NoLoad Goats," she's not sure, couldn't here over industrial-grade blender. Tell her it was probably "Lettuce Nodes."Maybe the food distributor with a new product? She thinks about it and hangs up.

2:00 pm Legal secretary calls and says she lost password. Ask her to check in her purse, floor of car, and on bathroom counter. Tell her it probably fell out of back of machine. Suggest she put duct tape over all the airvents she can find on the PC. Grudgingly offer to create new ID for her while she does that.

2:49 pm Janitor comes back. Wants more lessons. I take off rest of day.

Wednesday 8:30 am Irate user calls to say chipset has nothing to do with fonts on form. Tell them Of course, they should have been checking "Bitset," not "chipset." Sheepish user apologizes and hangs up.

9:10am Support manager, with foot in cast, returns to office. Schedules 10:00am meeting with me. User calls and wants to talk to support manager about terrible help at support desk. Tell them manager about to go into meeting. Sometimes life hands you material...

10:00 am Call Louie in janitorial services to cover for me. Go to support manager's office. He says he can't dismiss me but can suggest several lateral career moves. Most involve farm implements in third-world countries with moderate to heavy political turmoil. By and by, I ask if he's aware of new bug which takes full-text indexed random e-mail databases and puts all references to furry handcuffs and Bambi Boomer in Marketing on the corporate Web page. Meeting is adjourned as he reaches for keyboard, Web browser, and Tums.

10:30 am Tell Louie he's doing great job. Offer to show him mainframe corporate PBX system sometime.

11:00 am Lunch.

4:55 pm Return from lunch.

5:00 pm Shift change; Going home.

Thursday 8:00 am New guy ("Marvin" started today. "Nice plaids" I offer. Show him server room, wiring closet, and technical library. Set him up with IBM PC-XT. Tell him to quit whining, Notes runs the same in both monochrome and color.

8:45 am New guy's PC finishes booting up. Tell him I'll create new ID for him. Set minimum password length to 64. Go grab smoke.

9:30 am Introduce Louie the custodian to Marvin. "Nice plaids" Louie comments. Is this guy great or what?!

11:00 am Beat Louie in dominos game. Louie leaves. Fish spare dominos out of sleeves ("Always have backups". User calls, says Accounting server is down. Untie Ethernet cable from radio antenna (better reception) and plug back into hub. Tell user to try again. Another happy customer!

11:55 am Brief Marvin on Corporate Policy 98.022.01:
"Whereas all new employee beginning on days ending in 'Y' shall enjoy all proper aspects with said corporation, said employee is obligated to provide sustenance and relief to senior technical analyst on shift."
Marvin doubts. I point to "Corporate Policy" database (a fine piece of work, if I say so myself!). "Remember, that's DOUBLE pepperoni and NO peppers!" I yell to Marvin as he steps over open floor tile to get to exit door.

1:00 pm Oooooh! Pizza makes me so sleepy...

4:30 pm Wake from refreshing nap. Catch Marvin scanning want ads.

5:00 pm Shift change. Flick HR's server off and on several times (just testing the On/Off button...). See ya tomorrow.

Friday 8:00 am Night shift still trying to replace power supply in HR server. Told them it worked fine before I left.

9:00 am Marvin still not here. Decide I might start answering these calls myself. Unforward phones from Mailroom.

9:02 am Yep. A user call. Users in Des Moines can't replicate. Me and the Oiuji board determine it's sunspots. Tell them to call Telecommunications.

9:30 am Good God, another user! They're like ants. Says he's in San Diego and can't replicate with Des Moines. Tell him it's sunspots, but with a two-hour difference. Suggest he reset the time on the server back two hours.

10:17 am Pensacola calls. Says they can't route mail to San Diego. Tell them to set server ahead three hours.

11:00 am E-mail from corporate says for everybody to quit resetting the time on their servers. I change the date stamp and forward it to Milwaukee.

11:20 am Finish @CoffeeMake macro. Put phone back on hook.

11:23 am Milwaukee calls, asks what day it is.

11:25 am Support manager stops by to say Marvin called in to quit. "So hard to get good help..." I respond. Support manager says he has appointment with orthopedic doctor this afternoon, and asks if I mind sitting in on the weekly department head meeting for him. "No problem!"

11:30 am Call Louie and tell him opportunity knocks and he's invited to a meeting this afternoon. "Yeah, sure. You can bring your snuff" I tell him.

12:00 am Lunch.

1:00 pm Start full backups on UNIX server. Route them to device NULL to make them fast.

1:03 pm Full weekly backups done. Man, I love modern technology!

2:30 pm Look in support manager's contact management database. Cancel 2:45pm appointment for him. He really should be at home resting, you know.

2:39 pm New user calls. Says want to learn how to create a connection document. Tell them to run connection document utility CTRL-ALT-DEL. Says PC rebooted. Tell them to call microsupport.

2:50 pm Support manager calls to say mixup at doctor's office means appointment cancelled. Says he's just going to go on home. Ask him if he's seen corporate Web page lately.

3:00 pm Another (novice) user calls. Says periodic macro not working. Suggest they place @DeleteDocument at end of formula. Promise to send them document addendum which says so.

4:00 pm Finish changing foreground color in all documents to white. Also set point size to "2" in help databases.

4:30 pm User calls to say they can't see anything in documents. Tell them to go to view, do a "Edit -- Select All", hit delete key, and then refresh. Promise to send them document addendum which says so.

b4:45 pm Another user calls. Says they can't read help documents. Tell them I'll fix it. Hang up. Change font to Wingdings.

4:58 pm Plug coffee maker into Ethernet hub to see what happens. Not (too) much.

5:00 pm Night shift shows up. Tell that the hub is acting funny and to have a good weekend.