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Blog Authors:  David DeWell   Nathan T Freeman  

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TAOSRI - Are we socially retarded?

David DeWell  |     |  Comments (1)

 Although I must admit that Alton had a point in his closing session keynote, I truly wonder if we are really that socially retarded. Is it that we are different than most of the population, or are most of us truly recluse?

 

From my own personal experience, I can open up like a damn flower around other techie people but when it comes to being around people, say at a bar or some other social gathering - I CHOKE. What do I talk about? Am I going to say something stupid? Am I going to be ignored when talking? But when I am at Lotusphere, or on a design call, I open up and become more comfortable with myself.  I used to feel bad about being this way - feeling like I need to change this part of me - but recently I feel much better about being this way. Sure, I may not be getting to know a lot of people, but I think that is ok.

 

So what I am trying to say is, we are not necessarily socially retarded but maybe just work better within our "people". And no, we are not always talking about techie stuff. But the fact that we have similar background and current experiences makes us all more compatible to be around each other. And is this so different than the rest of society?

 

We interface with like-minded people. And our lives expand beyond computers so those other parts of our lives are other "interface points". Much like a web service with multiple functions, each function adds a sense of commonality with another application of service. The more functions in common, the more alike the apps are. We, as humans, are no different. Each interest we have gives us another link of commonality to another person.

 

Don't get me wrong, I am not slamming on Alton in any way shape or form. Please note that many times, my posts are very much internal discussions that I have had and writing them down makes it easier for me to understand and disseminate them. So to all my fellow geeks - "Howdy - let's talk!"

Comments

1 Tim Tripcony      Permalink Only a geek would equate common interests with WSDL. ;)

But you're exactly right: most people (with a few exceptions like Nathan, who seems at ease talking to just about anyone) tend to be most comfortable interacting with people with whom they already know they share interests, values, or opinions. That's how entire political parties start; same goes for churches. It's great to have a community where interaction is easy because of those predetermined common interests... which is the whole idea behind BleedYellow, right?

The challenge is extending that process beyond the "safe circle", which is difficult for many... perhaps most noticeably for geeks, which may have been what Alton was driving at. I've found the easiest way to do that is to get others talking about themselves: ask them a few non-threatening questions, and you'll likely be surprised how much you have in common.


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